No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
