I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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