The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize