I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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