so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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