Buhtt sex?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
