STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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