Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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