Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
