i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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