i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
