why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
