who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
