Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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