i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
