I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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