watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
