There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
