this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
