Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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