all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
