you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
