i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
