Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
