It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
