I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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