we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
