I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
