the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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