Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
There are leaves in my underwear?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
