I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
