Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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