tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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