i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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