She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I hate all girls vehemently.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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