I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
