Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize