Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
