So drunk its hurt
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
pop tarts are not kleenex
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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