I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
