at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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