just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
