$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
