He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
