Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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