kristin has been a bad kristin
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
