I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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