You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
