U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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