Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
