so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
