Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
