You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
