This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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