with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize