I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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