sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
