I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
