Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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