pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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