i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize