you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just threw up on my dentist
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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