If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm both gender and math confused
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
