she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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